Life Changes

Never realized how much life could change within a 6 month period. I didn't realize how much growing I could do living on my own in a different city. Never would've have thought the people I depended upon wouldn't be there. Never would have thought certain friends and family would be there. I feel like my life is clearing itself out; maybe getting ready for something new and exciting. Today, I accept those changes.

Every day and every moment is new...I'm still excited about what Chicago has to offer me.

Tired

There is too much violence. Too many homeless people. Too many drugs. Too many kids without healthcare. Too many rape victims. Too many kids not getting enough love. Teenagers having babies. Youth with potential who have no money to attend college. Not enough positive mentors. Why doesn't the paparazzi focus on this aspect of life? Show us the truth photographers. Show us what is happening on the southside of Chicago everyday. Show us what is happening on the streets of Los Angeles. More people have to come together to help. It's all too much.

In that same breath, human beings are so resilient. African-Americans are still surviving. Latinos are still helping to build a country that was taken from them. We're still breaking barriers. We will continue to break barriers. We have to.

Sadness

Although I always knew that someone died everyday, I never actually empathized with the idea. But living in Chicago has made me face violence and death in the face. So much so, that I find myself getting immune to both subjects. One day I found myself shrugging my shoulders at a story of a fight where someone was killed and thinking, "just another day in the neighborhood." Shame on me. I have awakened and am no longer immune. The violence and death is noticeable and uncomfortable again. In Chicago, Black people are killing each other at rates that are unimaginable to me. Today, violence and death came close regarding a boy who was raised at the youth center where I work. He was shot at his home and later died in the hospital.

The feeling is starting to return...I know why I am here.

AAAArrgh

Life is so much! Maybe its so much when you care. Today at Jungman Elementary, one of the teachers explained to me her methods of teaching her kindergarten class. She doesn't invest too much time in playing with blocks or coloring. She encourages reading, writing, and learning vowel sounds. She cares about her students. She wants them to learn and be prepared for the 1st grade.

She is molding competent citizens of this country.

She re-confirmed for me the purpose of my journey toward healing the world.

But its still all so much! I just want to lay around, be lazy, do homework, and watch tv all day. But can't do that, have to be at EDYC in 20 minutes!

Chao

Alive

Now that I am totally out of my funk and back to life, I feel like I can write with some positive energy. I am so HOMESICK. I didn't think I would feel like this moving to Chicago but at times I feel so alone. I guess that's because I am. On the other hand, I am really enjoying my experience, the people I meet and the places I go. While I have not got that "i know why I'm here" feeling yet, I know its coming. Until later, xoxo

A Plan

Chicago's Plans:

This month, the city announced a $30 million project* that targets 1,200 high school pupils identified as most at risk to become victims of gun violence, giving them full-time mentors and part-time jobs to keep them off the streets. Some money also will pay for more security guards and to provide safe passage for students forced to travel through areas with active street gangs.

Read more at: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2009/09/27/beating-death-of-derrien_n_301319.html

I, honestly, do not think this is enough. Perhaps, improving the quality of education and increasing resources on the Southside of Chicago is also needed. Students will have mentors & jobs but will return to the same environment everyday. A change in the environment is necessary.

*Interesting how the paper does not mention the name of the project

Sick

I have been sick this ENTIRE week which has really put a damper on my positive mood and drive. But it provided me with a lot of time for rest and relaxation even though I had plenty of papers I could have been writing. In my moments of sickness, it has become clear that I am where I need to be at this moment in time. I frequently ask myself if I'm in the right place with all of the obstacles that I've been facing, but there's no doubting after this week. I have plenty to do between work and school, something to look forward to in the Kanye West Concert & Nikke coming to visit me, and Thanksgiving shortly around the corner. All smiles tonight as I start a paper due Friday.

Friends

Whitney Fletcher came to visit me this weekend and we are having a grand time. My first house guest has been so wonderful. We've hung out with Destinee, Zetah, Donna-Lee, and Colleen. We checked out the University of Chicago's Law School and Northwestern to prepare Whitney for her move out here. We've had Giordano's Pizza. We've driven Lakeshore Drive countless times. We played Spelmanopoly for FOUR hours one night after I made enchiladas, Mexican style Rice-a-Roni and sweet corn. Can't wait for tomorrow. I'm making Sunday dinner:) Ta-ta for now.

Social Work

"The central proposition of social work practice...is to exploit the best in all of us; to work together to surmount adversity and trouble; to confront the appalling with all the tools available within us and around us; to wrestle distress and disillusionment to the ground with determination and grit; to grab the hands of others and march unwaveringly, even heroically, in the direction of hopes, dreams, and possibilities." --Dennis Saleeby

Sudhir Venkatesh

How does it feel to be black and poor?

Living life, losing life

Today one of my Spelman sisters lost her life. In the blink of an eye, she was gone. I've traveled on that same street. I've passed many fights and arguments. Yet and still, I'm still here. It is crazy to think that throughout my entire college experience, I never had to attend the funeral of one of my Spelman sisters, especially since people die everyday. I never had to mourn the death of one. Today, my Spelman sisters are mourning the death of Jasmine Lynn. Gun violence is attacking the Atlanta University Center. Gun violence has affected me three times over in one week--Chicago, Los Angeles, and Atlanta. When will the violence stop? What is the lesson? What can we do? How can we help? ...peace is the answer...

The Hood

"The history of Chicago's blacks and blacks in every other city, did not recapitulate the experiences of European immigrants. No immigrant group ever lived in neighborhoods as segregated as the black ghetto. With each decade, as they left the center of cities for new homes in the suburbs, European immigrants and their children lived in less segregated surroundings. By contrast, black segregation, higher from the start, continued to increase. European immigrants were allowed , even encouraged to move out of ethnic enclaves; blacks were prevented from leaving the ghetto" (Katz, 1996, p.182)

Let this marinate...

My mother is always reminding me to slow down and recognize the presence of people; to pay attention to people's needs. I do that already but sometimes I get so caught up in my grind that I only worry about me. This weekend I heard my mother saying, "slow down." I did and I recognized people. I remembered names. I paid attention to facial expressions and needs...more than normal. People need people. Human/social contact is so important. I'm all for having alone time & I love to be alone in my own space. But this weekend I got out, opened myself up, and allowed people into my world in a different way than before. And it was great. 

Social Change

Today I sat in a health clinic for people with limited or no health insurance. I have health insurance through my school, but they have no walk-in clinic. I needed to get a physical & TB exam for my job TODAY. Where would I have been without the Mile Square Health Center?! Definitely wouldn't have been able to start work next week. 

As I sat in the clinic, I read Afeisha's twitter message of a girl who watched her walk to work everyday. The girl sent her aunt to ask Afeisha what college she attended. SPELMAN COLLEGE. Afeisha is a social worker in training and helped to change the world by walking to work everyday....that's power. Now, the girl wants to work in the court system & attend Spelman, just like Afeisha. This story renewed my hope in the human race & ability to make things better. 

Lesson: People are watching. Be awesome everyday. 

Sidenote: Jay-Z on Bill Maher tonight...HOT!

Beginning

I have embarked upon a journey that has already proven to change the rest of my life. I left my family to make the world a better place. What a sacrifice...can't even begin to describe the different feelings I have about the decision to move to Chicago. But I'm here and about to make moves. I see why Chicago is known for social work. Social injustice is in your face. Just drive from one end of the city to the next and the quality of living changes drastically. I see why so many people are gun-ho about the oppressed. Something has to be done. Empowerment. Self determination. It's lost and needs to be found. I have joined the team of people fighting for social justice. Thanks to all my friends & family who supported my decision to move to Chicago. This first blog post is for you. xoxo