Sadness

Although I always knew that someone died everyday, I never actually empathized with the idea. But living in Chicago has made me face violence and death in the face. So much so, that I find myself getting immune to both subjects. One day I found myself shrugging my shoulders at a story of a fight where someone was killed and thinking, "just another day in the neighborhood." Shame on me. I have awakened and am no longer immune. The violence and death is noticeable and uncomfortable again. In Chicago, Black people are killing each other at rates that are unimaginable to me. Today, violence and death came close regarding a boy who was raised at the youth center where I work. He was shot at his home and later died in the hospital.

The feeling is starting to return...I know why I am here.

AAAArrgh

Life is so much! Maybe its so much when you care. Today at Jungman Elementary, one of the teachers explained to me her methods of teaching her kindergarten class. She doesn't invest too much time in playing with blocks or coloring. She encourages reading, writing, and learning vowel sounds. She cares about her students. She wants them to learn and be prepared for the 1st grade.

She is molding competent citizens of this country.

She re-confirmed for me the purpose of my journey toward healing the world.

But its still all so much! I just want to lay around, be lazy, do homework, and watch tv all day. But can't do that, have to be at EDYC in 20 minutes!

Chao

Alive

Now that I am totally out of my funk and back to life, I feel like I can write with some positive energy. I am so HOMESICK. I didn't think I would feel like this moving to Chicago but at times I feel so alone. I guess that's because I am. On the other hand, I am really enjoying my experience, the people I meet and the places I go. While I have not got that "i know why I'm here" feeling yet, I know its coming. Until later, xoxo